It’s so easy to get caught up in the thoughts that come with making a decision. I suppose decisions are a conscious thought process… maybe not from start to finish, but at least when we have the final “I’m doing this” moment!

Like, my decision to not get my original flight back to Australia last year. I acknowleged that my bank account was good for a 3-month trip but would be cutting it really fine for the added bonus! However, I made the choice, owned it, rolled with it, made it work and loved it.

We just need to decide. Make a frickn decision!

I’ve currently just ordered pizza and a pisco sour for breakfast, the time warp of airports always makes me happy! The sub zero air conditioning temperatures, in airports and planes, never cease to amaze me — why on earth does it need to be so cold?!!!

I could reflect on 2024, like everyone else. I can set goals and make decisions for the year to come — but for now, I will just bask in the memories of 2023 and dream of what 2024 will bring. Afterall, I’m about to eat pizza for breakfast and I’m not even hung over! I don’t want to be anywhere else right now!

As I do remember 2023, I am overwhelmed by gratitude that no one I love gained their wings last year. I didn’t go to one funeral. I understand that some of you may have (I’m sorry), and that some of you are spending your first Christmas and New Years without special people and furry friends. This isn’t to say that I am not missing people and furbabies I have lost in the previous years. I’m just saying, it’s been nice to have a break from the grief which consumed me for a few years in a row. It’s not gone, and it will be forever with me, but time makes things easier.

Those who experience immense grief (really, no one gets through life without it), can grow from it. We need to look it in the face, shed the tears and breathe through it. It doesn’t define us and we can’t give it that power. We can come out the other side and see the beauty in the little things. We can do that with any feelings I suppose. We need to know sad, to truly know happy. We need to know fear, to truly understand love.

Grief doesn’t only come from the loss of a life, it may also come from a loss of a version of yourself, who you once were. A loss of the ‘single and carefree’ version of you, to the parent or caregiver, you. A loss of a job or a friendship. With every new version of you, you lose an older version. Such is life. There are so many things we can grieve over. But I think sometimes we just get caught up in constant distractions and wonder why we feel sad or numb, lack purpose or have no motivation….. We become attached to unconscious outcomes and don’t know we need to let go, move on and embrace the new.

Travelling now, as opposed to travelling 20 years ago, I see the world differently. I think I’ve always seen the beauty in the world, but now I think I feel the happiness, sadness and emotions of the natural world more consciously. I have come to truly understand that we are all connected, and that person begging on the street could have been me if I made different choices. I feel a trigger in my soul at the street dogs, the loneliness and poverty. I see what we truly need to be happy, and I recognise that the ‘system’ is designed to make us feel sad, fat, unloved, lonely — because when we don’t feel as though we’re enough, we are somehow convinced to ‘need, consume or buy more’ to be happy.

If you’re reading this, chances are that you have everything you need, right here, right now. Take a breath, look around and appreciate all the small things. Everything you have (including your body) is an accumulation of all the decisions and choices you’ve made this lifetime.

Let that sink in….

My cheese bread, beer fuelled belly is an accumulation of all the choices I’ve made recently! There’s no one else to blame — it’s all me. If I don’t own it, I’m going to hate it, be triggered by it and feel sad. Gratefully, I know I can make different choices, that’s the beauty of life.

Once we start putting the decisions and choices we make in to our consciousness, we can regain our power. If you’re still blaming someone for something, you are giving them power over your emotions and feelings, maybe even your situation — why on earth would you do that if you don’t have to?! Take back your power. But also learn to forgive, life is too short. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Forgiveness isn’t about setting someone else free, it’s about setting yourself free.

Anyway, I’m currently on my second breakfast pisco sour, and I really need to head to the gate to board my plane…..

Happy ‘whatever day of the week it is’ people!